It's hard to know how to talk to a cop, especially when you're late for that flight/wedding/anger management meeting. Thankfully, Jalopnik readers have ten things you can remember to never say to the cop who's pulling you over.
10.) "Where were you hiding?"
Suggested By: owen-magnetic
Why it's ill-advised: It turns out, this line makes police officers somewhat adversarial, since you just implied their job involves hiding out like ninjas, or the bad guys in a cowboys and indians movie.
9.) "Do you know who I am?"
Suggested By: Vlan1
Why it's ill-advised: This rule also applies to "Don't you know who my father is?" "I know so-and-so, and he's a cop."
Even if the cop pulling you over does indeed know who your relative is, or that you're going to see a retired highway patrolman, it really doesn't matter. You're getting a ticket anyway and now you sound like a prick.